Too Focused on Work

First, Happy Father’s day to all you dads out there.

So today I had one of those aha moments.

Cory and I were finally going to go to the park where he proposed to celebrate our anniversary (which was May 11^th). I have been wanting and asking for this as my anniversary gift since last year. There always seems to be something in the way. Last summer it was, I was too busy with my three jobs and weather, this year it was weather and more work.

I mentioned it to Cory today that it would be a perfect day to finally do it, the weather was perfect and we were not TOO busy. Cory was worried about getting research done for his new project, so I agreed that on the picnic he could do some research and I would read a bit.

As we got the park and found the spot where Cory proposed we, set up the blanket and took a seat. He then proceeded to try to do research and I decided to read a book on marriage therapy for work.

Just a few pages in I took pause…..WHAT WERE WE DOING? Here we are trying to have a romantic afternoon celebrating our marriage and we’re doing WORK. When did work become way more important that our MARRIAGE. Cory couldn’t concentrate on his research and with good reason… this was not an appropriate environment to do such an activity. I felt like a hypocrite reading a martial therapy book and not even giving attention to my own marriage.

I put the book down turned to my husband and asked him about his goals and dreams for the rest of the year. I knew what I wanted to accomplish and of course what I wanted HIM to accomplish, but wanted to check in on him. We then proceeded to talk about his dreams and goals, insecurities and work. I shared my goals (my first Disney world trip) and we got on the same page and connected emotionally and spiritually.

Such an important but almost scary question to ask is…. How do you think our marriage is going? This question can be anxiety provoking for anyone, even more so for those who view their marriage as having problems and wait longer and longer to address them. I wanted to make sure our life, our marriage is what he thought it would be and wanted. It’s so important to check in with our spouse every now and then.

So many times we can get caught up in life and just keep doing work. I hope you can take some time this week and ask your spouse how they think your marriage is going and their hopes and dreams for the rest of the year, next year, next five years. Take a picnic, a walk, have a nice glass of wine on your porch. Any alone time you can spare will be worth it.